I was in a hospital for six of them. Which means, thanks to my lightning-quick mental calculation skills, I have been in this house for … 74 days.
I’ve been living within these walls for every hour, every minute, every single second of every one of those days. Well, with the exception of about 11 times, for short trips. By my best guesstimation, those add up to about 13 hours.
So, that means, subtracting that time … I’ve been living within these walls, nearly non-stop, for 1,763 hours. That’s 105,780 minutes. Which also is 6,346,800 seconds. Or maybe 62.7 bizzillion nano-seconds.
Hmmmm … very interesting. Explains a lot.
“What was that? What were you saying, I couldn’t hear you.”
My wife is down the hall, sitting in the computer room and yelling out to me. I am in the where-I-am-living room.
“Sorry, I wasn’t talking to you. I was talking to Rocky.”
“What’d you say?”
“I said I was talking to Rocky!”
“You’re talking to Rocky.”
“Well, yes. In a manner of speaking.”
“You’re talking to Rocky, in a manner of speaking.”
“Yeah. I’m talking to Rocky, and he’s listening. It’s a manner of speaking. Sort of.”
“Don’t make me get up and count your pills again.”
“Shhh, Rock. Hold that thought. I’ll get back to you when the coast is clear.”
“Hi hon, it’s me. Whatcha doing?”
“Hello dear. I know it’s you. We have caller ID at work.”
“Oh, what cutting-edge technology that is. Anyway, I wanted to ask you if I can use the credit card.”
“Why do you need to use the credit card? You’re at home. What for?”
“I’ve been watching this really educational program on TV and if I call and order within the next 20 minutes, they’ll double my order, the same price as one, just pay additional shipping and handling.”
“You’re watching infomercials.”
“Right, we’re talking lots of info here. And if I call in the next 17 minutes, they’ll double my order and I’ll get two 16-ounce Real-Rubber-in-a-Cans instead of one. I want to spray it on the bottoms of my feet and see if I can bounce my legs up onto the couch instead of hooking them with my cane and pulling them up. I think we’re talking a potential medical miracle here. So, whatdaya say.”
“Sigh – I’ve got to get a padlock for that medicine cabinet. I’m hanging up now.”