Have Banjo, Will Soar



No man is an iPad …

no_man_is_an_iPad.JPG… well, maybe not.

I’m writing this blog on my iPad. I read two newspapers, a dozen reports on one news service and a couple magazines earlier on my iPad. I checked my email on my iPad. I prepared all of the pictures here on my iPad.

As a matter of fact, lately I pretty much don’t go anywhere in this house without my iPad.

As a matter of complete fabrication, if a herd of rabid wildebeest were running through my backyard right now, I would use my iPad to defend myself.

That’s not true, of course.

I’d use my wife’s iPad.

“What the hell happened to my iPad?”

“Strangest thing, hon. Rabid wildebeest to my left, rabid wildebeest to my right. What else could I do but beat them off with my iPad.”

“But this is my iPad.”

“Tragic case of mistaken identity, my dear. Tragic.”

High technology never got me this … high before. But then my wife told me she’d like an iPad for Christmas.

Why not, I thought. Sure.

“We could share it.”

Why not, I thought. Sure.image

I went and picked it up. It was light. It was pretty. It was freaking thin – a mere credit card on steroids.

But looks aren’t everything of course. I wasn’t impressed. Hell, I have a desktop. I have a laptop. I have a notebook. I have a tablet.

What’s an iPad going to do that they can’t?

After setting up “our” iPad, it became apparent if I was ever going to find the answer to that question, it was going to take a while.

“Um … I thought we were going to share this thing.”

“We are. I’ll be done with it in a couple minutes. Then it’s all yours.”

“It’s nearly 3 a.m.”

“Is it, really? My, my.”

I should have seen this coming. Something needed to be done.image“What’s that?”

“I think they call it an iPad.”

“You bought your own iPad?”

“That would be an affirmative dear.”

“But we were going to share this one. Couple more minutes and I was finished playing with it.”

“Uh-huh. You said the same thing almost two days ago. I got tired of waiting.”

“Two days, really? My, my.”

Yeah, maybe I’m exaggerating. Yeah, an iPad is an amazing little piece of technology, but it’s just an overgrown smartphone. Or a dink of a desktop.

Or a diabolically-designed mind-meld machine soon to take over the world and every person living on it.

Nah, I’m probably just exaggerating.

imageWell, maybe not.

One of these sweaters …

… is not like the others … can you tell which one it is?






Tough one, ain’t it? What’s that? You want a hint? Whadaya think this is, Sesame Street? Oh, alright. Watch the opening ceremonies of the Sochi Winter Olympics on Feb. 7 for the answer.