Every headline tells a story

I wrote a lot of headlines during my years in the newspaper business. So it’s not all that unusual that I pay more attention to them than does the average reader. In some ways, to me, the headline is more important than the story – if it’s a good one, it’ll not only lure me to read the story beneath it, it very well may entertain me, intrigue me, even more than it informs me.

A really good newspaper headline is brevity at its best – saying more than enough in as few words as possible. Heck, many times telling the story better than the story. And sometimes, unintentionally, telling an even better story than the story beneath it.

The other day I was surfing the Internet, looking for off-beat news items for blog material. I have a few favorite sites that yield a lot of great weird nuggets of inspiration. But on this day, going from one item to the next, the stories just weren’t living up to their headlines. I was getting frustrated. I wasn’t getting what I needed.

And then I realized I was working far too hard. If the headlines are better than the stories, well dammit, then just go with the headlines.

ROSACEA IS CAUSED BY DEAD MITES POOPING ON YOUR FACE

MTV MAKES THE WORLD A BETTER PLACE, CANCELS “JERSEY SHORE”

STARVING YOURSELF MAY NOT MAKE YOU LIVE LONGER AFTER ALL

MAN ROBBED AT BUS STOP IS GIVEN BUS FARE BY HIS ROBBERS

THIS CHUNK OF WHALE PUKE IS WORTH MORE THAN YOUR CAR

IDIOT NEARLY DIES TRYING TO MAIL HIMSELF IN A BOX TO HIS GIRLFRIEND

TEACHER ACCUSED OF HELPING “DUMB AS HELL” KIDS CHEAT

MAN NAMES STORE “HITLER,” CLAIMS HE DIDN’T KNOW WHO HITLER WAS

VICIOUS SPAT ENDS WITH WOMAN CASTRATING MAN WITH HER BARE HANDS

DROUGHT BRINGS GRIEF TO COW POOP-THROWING COMMUNITY

CHARITY BREAST SQUEEZE PUTS THE FUN BACK INTO FUNDRAISING

Need I say more? I didn’t really think so.

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